Just a traveler, on the path...
Feb. 1st, 2006 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
per_soloBored, tired, stressed...working on my paper, and not getting very far. Brain refuses to focus on it...which is almost a sure sign that I'm going to head to bed shortly..
Nice HOT bath, relaxation...
Scrubs on in background, and listening to Supertramp right now...been a while, had forgotten the group, and borrowed the Paris album...good live stuff.
Course, that spins my brain to the "Still the Beaver" TV movie that was on years ago...CTMM and all that...refusing to watch that, as I get the odd feeling it would irritate me or depress me.
Sent the convention e-mails out last night...basically, everything I'd gotten on potential programming and all. No new programming head to give it to, so ended up sending it all to the conchair addy.
Feel incredibly sad for the convention, and wish I could pull out the fortitude to give it a try, but honest to PLG, it feels like I'm barely holding on with the stresses going on, and I can't add any more to the pile.
I suppose I should be thankful...I've finally found where my close to breaking point is.
Got to have lunch with my friend Jason...another of those friends I don't get to see very often...he actually complimented me, and it's a compliment I'll have to chew over...see if it's accurate or not.
His comment was that, since I've been laid off, I seem MUCH more assertive now...not quite like the "shrug everything off" person I've been for years. I'm not quite sure on that...until I know for sure, I'll chalk it up to the stresses of the day and all the rest. :-) Really? I hope that's where I'm going...it's easy to shrug things off when you're worried about stepping on toes...I have no idea where my brain is going with this, and since this journal is becoming my stream writing site, I'll admit to not knowing where else to take that. It almost feels like I'm reinventing myself, again..and it's been a good while since I had to do that...but, it feels right..as far as a statement on what's going on in my head.
It was still a good compliment...during my time downtown, I need to have more lunches with him.
That's probably another piece..the disconnect. I got used to doing lunch with some of my greatest friends every day...or every other day, depending...to be downtown, where I have little clue where anything is, tis daunting...but, I will admit, City Market is a damn good place to go for lunch...LOTS of variety...damn...still, I miss the lunches on the North Side of town...I still miss part of the routine...the not fearing losing your job, knowing what was coming (Yes, that can elicit a laugh). Still, without the job loss, I likely wouldn't have gone to school..I would have taken another course, but not quite the planning I'm doing now for actual college education, and yes, figuring how the fuck to pay for such.
Literally...I can do anything at this point in my life...for the longest time, the one big thing tying me down was the fact that I was put in charge of running the convention. The...responsibility that put on me,that people trusted me enough to do that, was enormous...to the degree that all major life decisions could wait til after that. Well, it's done now..and I'm not a part of the club or con now...I can do anything. If I got the burr to pack up, and try somewhere else (TRUST me, I'm nowhere near that point), I could. Hell, it can't be any more terrifying than what I'm doing now. School credits transfer..right? :-P
Want to take two vacations this year...one to Vegas, with friends, if possible. I'm still getting postcards from The Flamingo, offering free room nights and such, so that could work well for a friendly gathering. The other? Maybe I'll just try to save some money, open a new credit card, and make the Route 66 trip I planned last year..
We'll see. Now to bed..tomorrow night? Going to see Kevin Smith doing a talk downtown with friends...frightening, as I'm nowhere near a fan of Smith as I used to be..still like his movies, but anymore? Meh...
So, time to be away..wow, thought it was 10:30, it's only 9:48...short post after this, will post a lyrical post. :-)
Nice HOT bath, relaxation...
Scrubs on in background, and listening to Supertramp right now...been a while, had forgotten the group, and borrowed the Paris album...good live stuff.
Course, that spins my brain to the "Still the Beaver" TV movie that was on years ago...CTMM and all that...refusing to watch that, as I get the odd feeling it would irritate me or depress me.
Sent the convention e-mails out last night...basically, everything I'd gotten on potential programming and all. No new programming head to give it to, so ended up sending it all to the conchair addy.
Feel incredibly sad for the convention, and wish I could pull out the fortitude to give it a try, but honest to PLG, it feels like I'm barely holding on with the stresses going on, and I can't add any more to the pile.
I suppose I should be thankful...I've finally found where my close to breaking point is.
Got to have lunch with my friend Jason...another of those friends I don't get to see very often...he actually complimented me, and it's a compliment I'll have to chew over...see if it's accurate or not.
His comment was that, since I've been laid off, I seem MUCH more assertive now...not quite like the "shrug everything off" person I've been for years. I'm not quite sure on that...until I know for sure, I'll chalk it up to the stresses of the day and all the rest. :-) Really? I hope that's where I'm going...it's easy to shrug things off when you're worried about stepping on toes...I have no idea where my brain is going with this, and since this journal is becoming my stream writing site, I'll admit to not knowing where else to take that. It almost feels like I'm reinventing myself, again..and it's been a good while since I had to do that...but, it feels right..as far as a statement on what's going on in my head.
It was still a good compliment...during my time downtown, I need to have more lunches with him.
That's probably another piece..the disconnect. I got used to doing lunch with some of my greatest friends every day...or every other day, depending...to be downtown, where I have little clue where anything is, tis daunting...but, I will admit, City Market is a damn good place to go for lunch...LOTS of variety...damn...still, I miss the lunches on the North Side of town...I still miss part of the routine...the not fearing losing your job, knowing what was coming (Yes, that can elicit a laugh). Still, without the job loss, I likely wouldn't have gone to school..I would have taken another course, but not quite the planning I'm doing now for actual college education, and yes, figuring how the fuck to pay for such.
Literally...I can do anything at this point in my life...for the longest time, the one big thing tying me down was the fact that I was put in charge of running the convention. The...responsibility that put on me,that people trusted me enough to do that, was enormous...to the degree that all major life decisions could wait til after that. Well, it's done now..and I'm not a part of the club or con now...I can do anything. If I got the burr to pack up, and try somewhere else (TRUST me, I'm nowhere near that point), I could. Hell, it can't be any more terrifying than what I'm doing now. School credits transfer..right? :-P
Want to take two vacations this year...one to Vegas, with friends, if possible. I'm still getting postcards from The Flamingo, offering free room nights and such, so that could work well for a friendly gathering. The other? Maybe I'll just try to save some money, open a new credit card, and make the Route 66 trip I planned last year..
We'll see. Now to bed..tomorrow night? Going to see Kevin Smith doing a talk downtown with friends...frightening, as I'm nowhere near a fan of Smith as I used to be..still like his movies, but anymore? Meh...
So, time to be away..wow, thought it was 10:30, it's only 9:48...short post after this, will post a lyrical post. :-)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 03:07 am (UTC)as for change, it happens. as for the con...sigh....at least i have a good looking deck chair. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 03:14 am (UTC)Change happens, and really, if you and your dad are still helping out,in any capacity, that speaks volumes that things will go ok. :-) Tis a compliment to you both.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-02 04:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 11:56 am (UTC)Then again, any of us could hit the powerball tonite...:-P
no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-08 02:25 pm (UTC)Then again, I haven't bought one either, yet.