![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
per_soloI've had a fair bit going on in my head recently...a few weeks ago, I received a sort-of backhanded compliment, and have wondered what one does with that type of compliment. But, that, along with a whole bunch of other things happening (and not happening) has the brain cycling.
Yeah, that's both good and bad. Mostly? It's stuff I really can't articulate. And I'm trying not to be too obscure (was told that sometimes it's hard to decipher what I'm writing about, but that some can), so..
That's likely not to go away too much. Sorry. :-)
Anyways, I'm still here. I got several scholarships submitted, of which I feel REALLY good on one. It's not a big scholarship, but every little bit helps.
I'm watching Dr. Who (well, the concert that happened last year), and just finished Torchwood. I have to give credit to Dr. Who. Several years ago, a friend tried to get me to watch, and I just never got interested. Then, 2005 came around. Well, actually 2006 (the eps came out in '05, I didn't watch til early '06). Finally, I was able to get into the show..the concepts, the heroes, the villains. Yes, I'm aware they still haven't touched on too much of what came before, but for what it has covered, I've caught up pretty well and enjoyed it.
It's also an interesting marker. And this part I'm not quite sure how to phrase. The "first" Doctor I was intro'd to on the series was angsty..dark..to a greater degree. But still moving on. For that period of time? I was extremely dark. So dark that I really don't like to look onto that, think about, ponder, admit existed. It did, ok? :-) The protective ego mechanism kicks in.
Anyway, the show changed, lightened up, along a path where I was, too. It was fun, while dark, but is fun, now, while light.
IF that phrasing/thought makes sense. ;-)
Anyways, I guess what I'd say, or what I'm trying to say is...the past will always find a way to find us, or haunt us. NO matter what we try, no matter how we try to section it off, to marginalize it, minimize its impact..it's our job to be able to sort the good from the bad. Balance, in a sense. I would even go as far as to say "show me someone who cuts off their past, completely, and I'll show you someone who will make the same mistakes, over and over again". *shrug* That's an opinion, of course.
The point of experience is so that you don't make the same mistakes over and over again. Learning. And yet, isn't part of the learning experience that any of us can "evolve" or "learn"? And, in further example, why is it that even with that capacity, many of us DO make the same stupid mistakes over and over again? That, in a nutshell, is why it has been next to impossible for me to truly give up on anyone. EVER. Why, really, I've only truly given up on 3 people.
And then I'll hear from others that those I give up on are doing the same crap (or see examples myself), and feel smug and justified. *shakes head* THAT would be an aspect I hate in humanity. The good in that? At least I know I'm not the only one that does it. Not exactly a great outlook, but one I'm aware of in myself.
The annoying? Knowing others do it to me, too. :-P Well-deserved or not, it still sucks to know. :-)
Anyways, that's all I've got at this moment. If you get a chance? I highly recommend the Dr. Who concert.
Anyways, now to dinner with friends. Be careful out there tonight. :-)
Yeah, that's both good and bad. Mostly? It's stuff I really can't articulate. And I'm trying not to be too obscure (was told that sometimes it's hard to decipher what I'm writing about, but that some can), so..
That's likely not to go away too much. Sorry. :-)
Anyways, I'm still here. I got several scholarships submitted, of which I feel REALLY good on one. It's not a big scholarship, but every little bit helps.
I'm watching Dr. Who (well, the concert that happened last year), and just finished Torchwood. I have to give credit to Dr. Who. Several years ago, a friend tried to get me to watch, and I just never got interested. Then, 2005 came around. Well, actually 2006 (the eps came out in '05, I didn't watch til early '06). Finally, I was able to get into the show..the concepts, the heroes, the villains. Yes, I'm aware they still haven't touched on too much of what came before, but for what it has covered, I've caught up pretty well and enjoyed it.
It's also an interesting marker. And this part I'm not quite sure how to phrase. The "first" Doctor I was intro'd to on the series was angsty..dark..to a greater degree. But still moving on. For that period of time? I was extremely dark. So dark that I really don't like to look onto that, think about, ponder, admit existed. It did, ok? :-) The protective ego mechanism kicks in.
Anyway, the show changed, lightened up, along a path where I was, too. It was fun, while dark, but is fun, now, while light.
IF that phrasing/thought makes sense. ;-)
Anyways, I guess what I'd say, or what I'm trying to say is...the past will always find a way to find us, or haunt us. NO matter what we try, no matter how we try to section it off, to marginalize it, minimize its impact..it's our job to be able to sort the good from the bad. Balance, in a sense. I would even go as far as to say "show me someone who cuts off their past, completely, and I'll show you someone who will make the same mistakes, over and over again". *shrug* That's an opinion, of course.
The point of experience is so that you don't make the same mistakes over and over again. Learning. And yet, isn't part of the learning experience that any of us can "evolve" or "learn"? And, in further example, why is it that even with that capacity, many of us DO make the same stupid mistakes over and over again? That, in a nutshell, is why it has been next to impossible for me to truly give up on anyone. EVER. Why, really, I've only truly given up on 3 people.
And then I'll hear from others that those I give up on are doing the same crap (or see examples myself), and feel smug and justified. *shakes head* THAT would be an aspect I hate in humanity. The good in that? At least I know I'm not the only one that does it. Not exactly a great outlook, but one I'm aware of in myself.
The annoying? Knowing others do it to me, too. :-P Well-deserved or not, it still sucks to know. :-)
Anyways, that's all I've got at this moment. If you get a chance? I highly recommend the Dr. Who concert.
Anyways, now to dinner with friends. Be careful out there tonight. :-)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 02:34 am (UTC)Love the icon.
no subject
Date: 2008-02-24 12:42 am (UTC)*heh* Yes, I had that as an image for a bit, and added the wording. Tis a good one. :-)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-23 10:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-24 12:11 am (UTC)No worries on commenting, I'm still reading you, too. :-) *HUGS* Hope your weekend is going great, too!
This evening is relaxing, watching Dr. Who, eating Tacos, and resting a tad. :-)